Gay Marriage? My Stars!

This is the first, and likely the last, serious post I will ever write. We prefer to traffic in fun, and fortunately fun sells. If you are interested in my standard-issue bullshit, wait until next time, and you won’t be disappointed.

This time, however, I would like to announce that The Mobtown Ballroom is about to go temporarily political. Maryland approved Gay marriage, and, one would like to hope, the whole state breathed a great sigh of relief. Rare and breathtaking are the moments in life when you get to see an extension of fine, humane principles. Whatever the dolts on TV may say, the most “traditional” of American values hearken back to the nastiest dark sides of European and Christian civilization. This is not a place in which we often experience the liberating effects of reason. We should celebrate all the more when, through the mind-numbingly dreary and painful efforts of countless unthanked people, something as elegant, clean, and reasonable as the right to choose whom one is to marry acquires public recognition. Issues like this do not admit of debate; they are not discussed with mutual respect between reasonable persons with differences of opinion. The fight for gay marriage is different in degree rather than in kind from the fight to end slavery, the fight for women’s rights, and, in general, the fight for any human being to move through life unmolested by archaic and backwards prejudice. We can respectfully disagree about the relative merits of the Beatles and the Stones and part friends. Gay marriage is, unfortunately, not like the Beatles or the Stones. If you, as an adult with an independent mind and the responsibility to use it,  can honestly fight against the recognition of basic human rights–you forfeit your right to be heard. Your children will take this for granted, and you will be attended, if at all, with pity and scorn, they way I listened as a child to my grandmother when she whispered about “the blacks.”

Not all traditional values are good, as evidenced by the Pope's hat.

The Mobtown Ballroom is an extremely small business, and our ex cathedra pronouncements do not reach a particularly large audience. As a part of the city that we love, however, it is necessary to

1) State unequivocally that we not only support gay marriage/gay rights but we will maintain a welcoming and harassment-free environment for everyone who walks through our doors. This goes beyond gay rights. Act like a dick, and we will end you. Act like a dick because of racial or sexual prejudice, and we will end you twice.

2) Explain why this matters to you as someone interested in entertainment/dancing/living your life without the long hand of bigotry reaching out to make things boring.

3) Show you how we intend to put our money where our mouth is, and call for advice on how we can do more.

Why This Matters to You:

So, now that it has been stated, here’s one take on why this matters to your average city-dweller looking for a good time. Thebattle over gay marriage, and civil rights for that matter, is not an isolated issue; the forces fighting against these things invariably also fight for a mundane, monochromatic society stripped of everything that lends life flavor or contributes to your ability to make choices. They want to zip up your pants, ghettoize minorities, choose the music you listen to, the TV you watch, and what you learn in school. They want you to believe that you were born in sin, and that you should spend the rest of your life repenting for this fact, or (and here’s a fair alternative) you will be damned to an eternity in hell. They want you to listen to authority without question. By removing access to contraception, they insert themselves into the most intimate and human arenas in life. They want women to shut up and stay at home. They think money is the same as speech.

1 Man+1 Woman. You clearly haven't read the Bible. Those bitches had tons of wives.

These people hate all the best things in life, and, incidentally, they HATE FUN. Fun, it turns out, is liberating and relaxing. It is the very reason why we slog through all the nasty parts of life, why we make money, why we fight for the things that matter. Every progressive step in the history of humanity has directed us towards more ways to have, and more time for, FUN. The 40-hour work week, the 15-minute break, the right to spend your life with the person of your choice: These are small parts of the pursuit of happiness, and that shit is in the Declaration of Independence. As people who like to provide as much fun and happiness as possible, we feel pretty strongly that people need to be left to their own devices whenever possible, and we recognize that the same people who work to oppose gay marriage also enact inane zoning laws, insist on a state religion, give churches tax-free status, violate the environment, destroy the economy, and engage in all manner of oppressive knavery. These are the people who brought you sodomy laws and kept them on the books for a ridiculous length of time. They would like you to work hard for your masters, have occasional and bland heterosexual sex for the creation of more drones and go to bed early. They do not want you to be educated, intelligent, independent, interesting or fun in any way. Those things may make you happy, but they inhibit productivity.

These dudes do not look particularly threatening. Killer bees are threatening. Gay people are just fun.

Obviously, we should not tolerate this, and since the forces of monotony are currently fighting to overturn gay marriage in Maryland, we would like to contribute our meagre resources to keeping the assholes at bay. Here’s what we are going to do:

1) On Thursday June 14 the Fierce International Queer Burlesque Tour is coming through Baltimore, and they will be performing at The Mobtown Ballroom. Details are coming soon, and we are committed to donating all of the Ballroom’s profits from the show to Equality Maryland (check out their sight at www.equalitymaryland.org for some killer information). These people are fighting the good fight, and we should help out.

2) We are going to offer our space at no charge to Gay and Lesbian rights organizations who wish to host a fundraiser or engage in any kind of shenanigans that support the cause.

3) We are asking for your input on anything else that we can do. If you have a suggestion or know a group that we could benefit in any way, email michael@mobtownballroom.com or nina@mobtownballroom.com, and let’s get the party started.

Boom.

Our Lindy Hop classes start this Wednesday (beginning: 7:30) and Friday (beginning 7:00). Sign up on the classes page, and if you’re wondering whether or not Lindy Hop is for you, check out our very own world-famous teacher Nina Gilkenson dancing in Korea. You get to learn from here. That’s some shit. For those of you who already Lindy Hop, look at Todd. He’s a monster.

Mondays 7-8: Swing One: This class is for absolute beginners. We present the material in an easy to understand format. No partner necessary, and you can stay for the swing dance afterwards.

Tuesdays 7-8: Belly Dance 1; 8-9 Belly Dance 2: We are lucky enough to have the world-famous Nina Gilkenson teaching these classes. The first class takes you from the very basics. The second class this session will focus on advanced material and short routinelettes. While students do sometimes perform, it’s not required.

Wednesdays 7:30-10:30 Lindy 1, 2, 3 (one hour each): Lindy Hop is the original and flashiest form of swing dance (check out the video below). Lindy 1 requires no experience whatsoever. This dance is possibly the most fun thing you have ever done, and we have a thriving scene in Baltimore. Warning: it has become a Wednesday night tradition for all the students to go out after class and sing karaoke. You will have fun.

Thursdays 6-7 Salsa 1; 7-8 Salsa 2: No experience or partner required for Salsa 1. Baltimore offers a host of venues for you to test out your skills, including our first Saturday dances.

Sundays Salsa Rueda 1 5-6; Salsa Rueda 2 6-7:  Taught by the infamous Barbara Bernstein. Salsa Rueda is performed as a group and includes numerous partner switches.

Sign up for classes HERE!

And now for the Fast Dance Smackdown Video!

The Mobtown Gremlins back in September, proudly marking the moment the floor reached across the room.

Ladies and Gentlemen, our next class series will begin the week of Monday May 14th. If you pay extra careful attention, you will know that this means we’re taking a few days off between sessions. The Mobtown crew will be up late after the dance on Monday May 7th to refinish the floor, and no one can walk on it until the following Friday. Ol’ Gretta has done noble service since September, and we are immensely proud that we’ve had enough action in the ballroom to refinish the floor already. Our floor, which the Mobtown Goblins installed themselves, has been the toast of dancers across the country, and we will give her the care and feeding necessary to ensure that she lasts for decades. Registration for the next session will be up soon, so get ready!

Until then, we’ve line up some truly shocking entertainment for you. Monday, April 30th, the Solomon Douglas Quintet returns to Mobtown ($15/$10 students). The following Friday, May 4th, our official house band The Boilermakers swoop in after a long absence to keep you dancing late into the night. Everything is turning up Mobtown.

Here’s what the next few days have in store:

Friday night will be our weekly festival of lunacy and bedlam (or, as we sometimes call it, swing dancing).

Saturday night is our monthly Balboa night. There’s a drop-in beginner lesson at 8 and the dance goes from 9-12. The whole shebang costs $5. You can’t beat that.

Monday night The Mobtown Ballroom presents the Brooks Tegler Quartet. If you haven’t heard of these cats, you’re in for quite a show. Brooks is a genius on the drums, and he plays on a vintage kit, so it’s classy, too (in case you were worried). The photo to the right should help you understand that he can simultaneously play the drums and cause the ladies to reach for the smelling salts. Seriously, Brooks is the whole package.

• This week from March 27-April 1, our new class session begins. Whatever you want, we’ve got it. Lindy/Swing classes start on Wednesday and Friday. Belly Dance on Tuesday. Salsa on Sunday. Go to the classes page and sign up.
• As a thank you to everyone for their support over the past several months, we’ve decided to ask Lily Susskind from the Effervescent Collective to teach a free party dance workshop during the day on the 31st. The classes are from 2-4, and will prepare you handily for the variety show and soul dance later in the evening. Oh, and the best part…these classes are absolutely FREE. Here are the descriptions and a brief word about Lily.

Effervescent Open Class: 12:00-1:15

This class connects the effort of moving to the pleasure of feeling a groove in your bones. If you love jazz dancing, or goofing around to your favorite jams behind closed doors, but are hungry for a deeper connection to your own body, take this class. This class is silly, sweaty, and sensual, a reminder of what your body is made of and its infinite potential. There are no mirrors and no memorizing. Wear clothes appropriate for sweating, running, and rolling around.

Turn Your Pelvis On (TYPO) Workshop: 2:00-4:00

Be it James Brown, Elvis, Michael Jackson, Madonna, Usher, or Beyoncé, pop culture’s most famous dancers take from and give to vernacular jazz. This class will trace connections between Lindy moves and what you see in today’s most bangin’ music videos. This class will help you throw some hot sauce on all of your dancing. Excellent preparation for the Soul Party later in the night.

Taking both classes is highly recommended, but not required.

About Lily:
Lily Kind is the founder of Effervescent Collective, (Baltimore’s Best Dance Company 2011 & 2012, CityPaper). Effervescent is a Baltimore based dance organization that explores and promotes the power of movement, creating affordable and accessible dance based wonders in collaboration with the many beautiful artists of Baltimore. Effervescent hosts a donation-based Open Class every Sunday, for dancers and ‘non-dancers’ alike. Class is influenced by Lily’s study of Gaga, the movement language of Ohad Naharin and the Batsheva Dance Company. Lily also trains with Guardian, a vernacular dance preservation group based in Sandtown, exploring hip-hop genres including Baltimore Club. Lily has worked with many theater organizations and music festivals, including the face-melting Baltimore Rock Opera Society (B.R.O.S), the High Zero Festival and Summer Stages Dance (Boston). In 2011, Lily was awarded a ‘B-grant’ by the Baker Fund in recognition of her contributions to arts in Baltimore City. Lily holds a BA in Dance & Anthropology from Goucher College. www.effervescentcollective.org.

The intermediate class requires one round of the first class or instructor permission.